The Black and Decker Brew and Go - a product I love!

Today, I'm sharing one of my favorite household products, the Black and Decker Brew and Go. Now, I'm not Consumer Reports, so I haven't tried out every single cup coffee maker on the market, so I won't claim this is the best one out there. I will say I've been using one for at least five years, and I don't know how I'd live without it.

The medical community is saying that a cup or two of coffee is probably better for most of us than no coffee at all, and with all the sugar and chemicals in them, I'm pretty sure it's a better source of caffeine than soda. This is good news for a lot of us who start the morning by turning on Mr. Coffee or one of his friends.  Of course, brewing up 8-12 servings of the black stuff might make sense for a couple, but it's overkill for someone living alone. If you need that much coffee to get you going, you might want to seek medical attention. More likely, you pour half a pot down the drain later in the day or (and this is ghastly) reheat it.

I bought my first Brew and Go because I enjoy the occasional cup of flavored coffee and my then roommate thought it corrupted the flavor of his morning Folgers. It wasn't long before our big pot died and we started using the B&G full time. By keeping separate mugs, we avoided cross contamination and found we were both drinking a little less coffee, but enjoying it a  lot more.

Why? Because the Brew and Go makes a cup of coffee in just a couple of minutes, so it's always fresh. And if you've never enjoyed single-cup brewed coffee, you're missing out. Most of the bitterness in coffee comes from contact with air, which a 12-cup coffee maker has plenty of as it fills the carafe. By eliminating all that standing around time, you get a much tastier cup. Plus, you eliminate most of that waiting for the coffee to be done time.

In addition to making a better cup of coffee faster, the Brew and Go requires NO special equipment. The basket is self-filtering, so you don't have to worry about special filters. It has a much smaller footprint than a full-sized coffee maker and can make 8 cups of coffee in about the same amount of time. That's 8 individual cups of coffee, which allows you to serve regular and unleaded (decaf), or different roasts, or several flavors, much like a Kuerig machine, but at around $20, it's a lot easier on the wallet, and it uses regular grinds so you don't have to buy special coffee. The Brew and Go comes with a travel mug, but will accommodate most coffee cups, so losing the accessory is not tragic. The only heating element is in the water tank, and it turns off automatically when the coffee is done. No more leaving it on and coming home to a cracked pot full of smelly goo that used to be coffee.

My parents started using one because of the rise in coffee prices. According to my mom, if there was coffee made they would drink it whether they really wanted it or not. Now they only use the big pot first thing in the morning. If they want another cup later in the day, they just make one cup. 

Of course, it isn't a perfect system. There's no computer to turn it on before you get up, so you do have to wait 90 seconds or so for your first cup. Like any coffee maker, it requires regular treatment for mineral deposits from your water. The harder your water, the more often you should run a cup of vinegar through it, or your favorite buildup remover. After a few years of use, it will start to sound a bit like an asthmatic taking a nap.

Still, for about the cost of five vente mochas, you can have a reliable machine that makes a great cup of coffee in almost no time at all. If you're like me, you will want one for home and one for the office.

Grief for one

I'll admit it. I don't feel wonderful today. My grandfather passed away last night. He was 87. He's the handsome guy in the back of the picture. His career in the U.S. Navy spanned three big wars. He flew airplanes and helicopters. He fathered 6 children (my dad is the youngest one standing), all of whom are functioning members of society. He was a great story teller with a quick laugh and a gentle spirit. He and my grandmother were still married yesterday when the Lord took Grandad home.

I know I complain about the unfairness of living single in a double world, but grief is the hardest thing about being alone. I know I should find comfort in my parents and siblings, but I don't. My friends, who are wonderful, amazing people, help. They do. But at the end of the day, I am going to be all alone in the dark with my loss. I will pray, and God will get me through until the sun rises, but it is always with the far-off comfort of someday being in His arms, surrounded by those whom I have lost. Here and now I am alone and I think that this is why my married friends put up with all that crap from their husbands. So when the world falls apart a little, someone will be there to hold them together. Someone will be by their side when everyone else turns to their husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend and they won't have to be me. The third or fifth or fifty-seventh wheel borrowing affection from someone who's affection is already spoken for.

I loved my grandfather, but we were never close. We lived half-a-continent apart since I was 2. And I had a great visit with him about a decade ago, before the car accident and the stroke took his mind and his mobility. I am sad, but I am also terrified. How long will it be before the cold body in the room is my mom or dad or brother? How will I ever survive burying a friend? There are ways to shop and cook to make up for the lack of a partner, but I have no suggestions on facing grief alone. It is a cold, horrible place, and the best hope I have is that I will not be here again for a long, long time.

Why am I single?

A high school boyfriend has come back into my life and after four late night dog walking sessions, I am caught up on his love life to-date. As much as I've enjoyed hearing about how all these girls who are NOTHING LIKE ME have totally heart stomped him, any thoughts I may have had of rekindling the puppy love have been nicely quashed. Let's be honest, men are slow learners when it comes to love. Nice guys don't finish last because they're nice. They finish last because they keep following their penises instead of their brains. The penis, of course, does not care if the girl is sane or in any way compatible with you. It only cares if she looks a certain way. The penis has a slightly myopic world view.


Last night, as we're loading up our furry friends, he asked me why I'm single. God, I hate that question, especially from guys. I can always tell my grandma that I haven't found anyone with enough bad Karma to burn off, but how do you explain to a member of the opposite sex that a position has gone unfilled because no one qualified for the job has bothered to apply? How do I sum up a problem that my therapist wouldn't even touch?

I am single because:

1. I don't mind being alone, so there's not a huge incentive to date someone, anyone, just to avoid my own company.
2. I'm not hot. Say what you will about attraction being individual, I weigh 2XX pounds. We don't make the covers of magazines for a reason.
3. My IQ is in the top 5% and I don't care to spend my time with anyone who isn't nearly as intelligent as me. That rules out 90% of the population right off the top.
4. I have self-esteem/self-image issues. And not nice, tidy ones. In any given 24 hour period I can't believe how awesome I am or how much I suck.
5. I'm attracted to guys like my dad, but I know better than to actually get involved with them.
6. The rules of dating in today's world don't make any sense to me. I'm just not on board with let's have sex and then see if we like each other. Pretty sure it should be the other way around.
7. I'm also attracted to rescuers, but as I don't need rescuing, it never lasts.
8. I don't meet many single men in my age bracket. 
9. I get creeped out by the way guys talk to girls they are attracted to. I like being talked to like a human being, which guys only do if they've already friend-zoned you (yes, there is a friend zone for women).
10. Enough guys have been honest enough to tell me that they'd 'do' me but not date me that I'm starting to see that as my role in the romantic world - and it's not one I care to fill.
11. I'm sure there are at least a hundred more reasons.

The toilet paper dilemna

I'm sure there are people out there living single in mansions, people who's guest bedroom, office, and living room are not the same room, but most singletons can get by pretty comfortably on a few hundred square feet and I'm one of them.  That being said, storage space is at a premium in my 3 room apartment.  I have no pantry to stock.  Buying in bulk is out of the question.  There are lots of reasons this frustrates me, but most things can be purchased in something approaching a single serving, if at a cost. 

Except toilet paper.  Sure, you can buy one roll of toilet paper, but it's the same awful stuff they put in public restrooms.  If you want a reliable, name brand bath tissue, you usually have to commit to block of triple rolls the size of an ottoman.  That's great if you want something squeezably soft to rest your feet on, but whatever happened to the 4 pack of toilet paper?  Why has it been shoved off the shelves of major retailers to make way for paper products that require an SUV to transport?  And why is there an occasional four pack of single rolls wedged between 'valu' packs of 36 triple rolls?  Is there nothing in between?

Okay, there is.  Like an explorer of old I have found a few bastions of the four pack in pharmacies and neighborhood stores. There are a handful of stores I frequent entirely because I once found a pack of good TP there that I could fit under my bathroom sink.  This weekend I stumbled upon gold at the local Ben Franklin - a 4 pack of regular Cottonelle Double Rolls  (My bottom cleaning dream!).  I don't know whether to tell every apartment-dweller I know, in the hopes of demand driving supply, or keeping it a secret in the hopes that I can slowly work my way through their entire shipment. 

Not a dating blog

I've decided to try to my hand at writing about living single.  I know for most of my potential readers it's a transient state like between jobs.  For those people, I offer the wisdom of many, many uninterupted years of singularity.  For others, like myself, it has become the normal state of existence.  Whatever the reason, not everyone forms cute reproducing pairs. 
It took a long time, but I am finally coming to terms with the fact that you don't have to ride off into the sunset with Prince Charming to live happily ever after.  It's possible to have a joyful, fullfilling life without a partner or house full of progeny.  It's possible to be relevant in the lives of people you don't share genes with or even a bed.  It's possible to go to the theatre alone - and restaurants and even bars and clubs.  It's possible to be one and still be wonderful. 
So, please have a seat at my table for wonderful.  I'll talk about the hassles of a living single in a bulk buying world, how to cook for one without throwing out enough food for a family, and how to respond to the people who just have to know why you're single.